ocean waves

child in ocean

a child’s eye looks at those waves
dreams of the world that lies beneath
the world of mermaids
and their crystal palaces
where pearls glitter like beads
how they sing and swim with whales
and dreams one day he will meet one
and she will be his loved one
forever and ever thereafter

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2 comments

  1. Dear Sharmishtha,
    I am hesitate to give you some suggestions, but I will give my comments even you might think it is not right. I am not saying that my suggestion is right either, they are just for your reference. Often I read your poem, I feel a burden. My writing has a burden carrying with it too, but often I want to convert it to something positive, because of the spirit of never say die. When you said a child and the ocean, I link it to an adventure of simple/imagination, and it should be leading the reader into the imagination. I feel here it is narrative. Additional, the love of a child, to me, cannot be mermaid (that’s for evil adult man) =). My suggestion is, not to to let our burden drag us, but convert it to something extraodinary to ourselves, a belief to bring good to nature (including human kind). Just my thoughts.

    KC

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